Be it ever so humble....

:D I'm emerging from work (not for another 10 days!!!!) and warcraft (75.5 and counting, yaaalll) to say that it is good to be home. Mom and Abuyya (what I call my Dad) and my awesome sister, picked me up at the airport terminal about an hour ago. It is good to be here. :) More later, if I feel like it. For the moment, bid me good leveling. I'd like to be raiding by next week, maybe sooner.

Ooh, and I must post here my ultimate intro-epic raid gear for hunters. But right now, back to leveling and then Dark Knight, which is supposed to be a really good movie. Oh, and you know, all that happy good energy from family. :D :D :D

Oh and I must add that I passed everything, some things better than others. :D It wasn't a great semester. It was, in fact, a crappy semester, but it's done and I survived. I'm employed and I don't have to repeat anything. I'm planning on joining the gymnastics team and I'm happy. Can't complain. There's more to life than grades. Now, next semester, I need to work on keeping more and getting the grades I can get. Because I can. Yes, I can! :D Hey, I told you I was in a good mood.

I'm done. I think finals went okay. I'm free! :D

I think I'm in the right field, finally

I like Computer Science. I like that I'm learning by doing. I like that I can think of a String in Java and know without a doubt that it is not a primitive type, because I've been using it all semester. I like that I am capable of writing a Java program that will take input and process it and produce output and I couldn't do that at the start of the semester.

For all the difficulty and regardless of how this semester turns out, I think I've found my THING.

:)

It's a good feeling.

1 down, 1 to go

Calc final is done. I didn't feel terrible on it. I got brain freeze from somebody clicking a pen next to me and couldn't for the life of me dredge up how to do an easy max/min problem, but I think it was mostly okay.

Comp sci is tomorrow, but at least it isn't until 4, so lots of time left to study. Then I have the rest of the day off after the exam and I'm free. Freeee! :)

Oh, also, I saw the team Jacob/team Edward concept somewhere. I listened to the audiobooks and I am firmly on team Jacob.

*a couple minutes later*

Eh, I went and found a picture of the actor who plays Jacob. I'm not terribly impressed. He's a little too pretty. I think their casting of Edward is spot on though, looks-wise anyway. I liked the actor who plays Edward in Harry Potter too.

Edward
Jacob

T-2 hours for Calc final. Wish me preparedness!

I want better customization in the world of applications.

Have you ever watched a movie where the hero/heroine has a laptop and needs to find out if the stocks transferred or the bomb exploded or the police are heading their way or the sensors have been tripped and they just hit a few random keys and wham! instant heads-up display.

I want one of those. Preferably, it'll read my mind and tell me what I need to know before I know that I need to know it. Also, it'll give me pop culture references for all occasions. 42!

If the ladder is sliding down the wall and the wall is sliding up the ladder, what is the rate at which an ant crawls over the 3rd rung.

Good Morning, Baltimore!

I'm spending the weekend with my parents so I don't have to worry about cooking and shopping and, of course, to see my parents.

One more day and then a half day tomorrow to study for the math final and then a day and a half to study for the comp sci final.

gogo, me.

3 days til done. 3 more days. 3 more days.

I need to go to bed.

I'm tired and grumpy and cranky. Yes, I am both grumpy and cranky. Nowadays working hard just gets me down a lot of the time. I don't feel like there's any payoff. Maybe I get something out of it and maybe not and the last time I worked this hard, it felt like climbing a mountain, getting to the top and resting a little and then getting ready to leap, feeling your haunches bunch under you and... getting smacked right back, how dare you try to fly? You might hurt yourself. I know I'm being cryptic and I'm not going to explain.

I'm supposed to be forgetting all this. But, I can't. It plagues everything I do that involves any kind of effort, which is everything. I'm going to bed.

At least the stupid finals are Monday and Tuesday. Awesome.

Gotta keep on moving

Come on, Schwartz! (Yes, I know the connotations, but w/e.) I need some motivation. I need to keep going here. 3 more days! 3 more days! Huurrrrrhhhggg. (That's the sound of effort.)

I have ideas for the blog too. Finally, ideas for a redesign, so I can get off this standard template.

*Sigh*

*Sigh* and again for good measure. *sigh*

My sister made unbelievable brownies. I am drowning in chocolate bliss. My sister gives me Nyasha complex, which is basically where the younger sister is perfect and the older is a spoiled bitch.

I wouldn't describe myself as a spoiled bitch. (Usually I'm self-aware enough to avoid that.) My sister is perfect though. She takes care of my grandmother half time, she does whatever my parents ask of her, she doesn't complain, is taller (not much, but taller) and prettier and skinnier than me and she's perfect. I can't help thinking that anyone I know would like her more. Plus, my dad likes her.

I'm not really jealous of her, but only because I love her, wouldn't trade her for anything. It's hard sometimes though to exist in the face of that kind of perfection. Especially because I don't think my dad likes me. I'm way too independent, I think, and lately, opinionated. I don't know how he feels about me. He doesn't talk to me though, unless I actively try to have a conversation with him. It's hard to describe and odd and a little strained, maybe more than a little. People in general don't react well to me without a lot of work though, I guess. I don't know.

I need to write my life story after exams. Then I need to read it as a casual observer, although I'm not sure I can do that. I need to get back to studying. Chain rule!

I'm 2/2 in complaints in my last two posts, so I figured I need to write something positive. I'm still attempting to force myself to study for finals, 4 more days til done!, so this will be short: If you've ever studied Calculus, you might remember the chain rule for deriving (and indirectly, integrating), complex functions. Well, I can do it! This is not huge, since you do so many chain rule problems. But, I need a positive here.

Also, here's a calculus poem that I wrote and that I am hugely and perhaps overly, proud of:

let's integrate babe,
I'll be your perfect f'
and you just be u.

Get it? :D

Because of that, I might never forget the substitution method of integration. Back to work.

Make it stop! I'm sitting in the TA room, waiting for help on my project and listening to the loud piggish grunting of my fellow students. Fucking blow your damn nose.

I loathe Calculus with all my heart.

We're on DC Blogs!!! An audience! Finally! I'm using too many exclamation points today! haha, anyway woohoo if you're reading this blog for the first time. Hopefully, you'll keep reading. I need some comments up in here. :D

And that's all for now. Calculus final is in 5 days and I need to study my little behind off. Oh, really quickly because I'm all proud of myself: Gymnastics final was today. We had a mock meet and I landed my front handspring vault! I did the floor exercise front handspring over a block so it doesn't count as much, but last Monday in practice, I landed it twice on the trampoline. This matters because I've been working on it all semester and those are the only two times I've landed it unassisted. I landed it though. I've improved. :D

The break needs to be all about hitting the gym and yoga. I am seriously thinking of going out for the exhibition team next year. Ok, back to work.

If you are ever in College Park, check out Pizza Roma. Cold double cheese pizza from there is awesome.

/cry. I want my life back. 5 more days. 5 more days til finals are over!

Blogging should be light the next couple days. Finals and all the attendant sleeplessness and misery are incoming, mostly because I'm new to the whole school thing again and botched my scheduling in general this semester. I have sworn off the forum I follow until finals are over. I swore off wow 3 weeks ago, not that I think it has helped that much. Maybe it has. Anyway, mostly au revoir until 12/16.

T-6

I was reading a poem someone wrote online, scrolled down and saw another poem written by the same person and thought for the first time in my life: "wow, you need to get laid." .02 at 2am :)

Hang in there, me. Hey, would anybody like to lend me a pair of arms? Just wrap that one around the left shoulder and that one around the right shoulder and squeeze, just a bit. Oh, and let me lean on your chest and put my arms around your shoulders. :)

I am Muslim and I don't know what else. I'm a student. A daughter. Not really anyone's friend, except my family and my one friend who lives too far away. I'm a doer, not a talker. I'm not comfortable with any group, except one and online groups are hard to judge and harder to assimilate into, especially when your definition precludes assimilation. I'm intelligent, and stupid. I'm, I don't know. Sigh. Stupid world.

Also, my sister makes good pumpkin pie, even to me, and I don't like pumpkin pie. This was good pumpkin pie though. Good pumpkin pie.

Insha'Allah, I'm going to Blogher next year. Hopefully, I'll buy my ticket as soon as my cashflow goes positive again. There's a skate race that weekend too, although I'm thinking to stay a month to make it easy on whoever gets me there and to have training time for the race. I can probably find a temp job or something, too. Good summer dough. Maybe I can find an internship or an ER scribe position, although that is short-term for an ER scribe position.

Arraylists and for-each loops are hot. *sizzle*

The Simpsons has Muslims on it! The little boy's mother has a veil too. I think I'm pleased. Note though: The u in Muslim is pronounced oo as in foot, not u as in bun. It doesn't rhyme with muslin. Thank you for reading. This has been your friendly informative moment.

Also, Homer is an idiot.

And I am pleased. I won't spoil it, but if you haven't seen it already and you have Muslims in your classes at school or you work with us or whatever and you don't talk to us or think we're freaks or whatever, watch the show. Maybe the funny-looking Simpsons people can enlighten you. Oh, and once again, oo not u. It doesn't rhyme with muslin.

Sort of like rhyme. Do you pronounce the "h"? No. Just because a word looks like it sounds one way does not mean it does.

Bedtime for me. :)

I'm debating going home for the weekend. It's just the hop from here in College Park to Baltimore and I have all my study stuff with me. Laptop + charger, check; Calculus book + problem sheet + calculator + solutions manual, check.

The only thing I don't have is the ticket that they didn't take the last time I went home. I could use said ticket, but it'll be good for a while. I could use it when I go home for semester break instead.

Eating my mom's cooking and hoping there's some blondie left vs. eating canned bean chili (I'm trying to be ultra- dirt- cheap right now.). Hmm, is there even a question?

I don't want to make the trip, but I want to go home. Eeny meeny miny mo. Oh well, I have a whole half an hour and then some to decide.

Edit: this blog needs a new design. I'm thinking cutout paper-looking shapes, trees, houses, smoke coming from the chimneys, a horse corral. It'll be a landscape going down the side of the page to replace the current blogger template. For the colors I'm thinking pale pastels: blue, green, some pink maybe. Of course, I can't do this until after finals.

T-10! 10! Hang in there, me.

Yay, I get to post again.

Ok, so I read a lot of blogs. Other people's blogs, that is, but I don't read the new posts. I read the starting posts. I am still hoping that eventually I will read all 2-3 years of back posts and get to the person's new posts. I wouldn't change the way I read them though. It's like reading a story. Just think how cool it'll be if I ever get to the part that's still happening. :D

I'm tired as usual. Too tired to post more. Too tired for full sentences. Debating going to bed and to sleep before 6:30. That tired. Calculus is still the bane of my existence this semester. I like Java though, which is very, very comforting and fulfilling and makes it all worth it. I might maybe, just maybe, have found my THING. That would be wonderful. Wonderful enough to make long, busy, sleepless nights and limits (aaaaaaaaiiiiiiieeeeee) worth it.

This is a note to myself because I'm in a forgetting mood right now. I forgot twice already what I was going to post about and then remembered each time.

So, 1/ Post helpful sounds for the study of Calculus. 2/ Post another episode of dear classmates or whatever I called it. 3/ Post something I just forgot. Maybe I'll remember what it was. 4/ Learn to draw draping and the effect of shapes on fluid shapes such as fabric, for a potential comic.

I'm so tired.

saving this spot for a looong update about stuff that happened to me like 2 weeks ago that is keeping me from writing new stuff that is happening to me.