grumble

I'm tired and I still can't sleep. It's not fair. I want to sleep. Slleeeeeep!

Sleeep please

I need to go to bed earlier. I keep thinking if I had someone to go to bed for, I'd get more sleep.

Lend me your arms,
wrap them around me,
keep me warm,
and let me
rest

my head,
on your chest.
breathe under me,
and the rise and fall and
rise
of your lungs will be the waves
and rock me off
to sleep.

I like my bad poetry :)

Oh, also, if you're out there, anytime now would be good. Aaaaaaannyttiime.

the political one

My diet is still atrocious, but that's not the important thing today.

Today, I went to the inauguration of the 44th President of these United States and the 1st African-American President of these same United States. I witnessed history in the making. History was cold and mostly only there because its friends were.

I am glad that I went, but mostly because of a random act of kindness, and because our new President is one hell of an orator. Wow. I had not heard him speak before the speech after he was inaugurated. (Give me a break, I don't follow politics. I didn't vote either. I was studying for a Calculus exam. Also, I live in MD. We don't vote red. And yes, I know that that's a terrible attitude towards voting, but, guess what? I got a relatively awesome grade on that test. That grade is the only reason I'm getting a shot at an A in Calc 2 this semester, instead of repeating Calc 1.) I can't feel but so bad, although deep down I would have liked to have voted. I usually do just for the principle of it, because I'm Black and Female, among other things, and my peoples had such a hard time getting the right to vote in the first place that I feel it generally incumbent upon me to exercise said right.

But I digress, back to my harrowing tale of adventure, Adams Morgan, all-night dining establishments, and bloody fucking cold temperatures.

I got to DC about 12 am this morning, found my bearings on the metro, got to the mall, saw that there was nothing going on except residual alchohol fumes making their way through the train cars (is there no one who parties without drinking?), and figured that I could go home and do yoga, warm up, and get some sleep. Then at the last minute, I hopped off the train, went back one stop to U street and walked to the Diner, a spot that I'd heard of, but never been to. I'd never been through Adams Morgan either, but I walked myself up to the line at the door to the Diner and waited for a table to open up. I had Life on the Line and was reading that and trying not to suck in second-hand smoke from the slightly drunk (?) girls ahead of me.

Actually, everybody I saw seemed at least a little bit alchohol-affected, but I guess that is normal for a party neighborhood at 3 am. I don't judge. You do it your way and I'll do it mine. :)

Anyway, I got into the restaurant and took off my coat and hat and sat down and almost as soon as I did, this woman came up to me and asked me if I was going to the inauguration, to which I replied in the affirmative. Then she asked me if I had a ticket, which I did not since neither Senator's office drew my name in their respective lotteries. Then, she offered me a ticket! She said she had just been waiting for the right person to come along. I was shocked and pleased. I had been planning to just go back to Baltimore at 4 am when the subways started running again. But, this, this changed the game. Now, I had to make use of a stranger's gift. I had to go to the inauguration of Barack Obama, 44th President.

So I did, but first I ate. The subways wouldn't start running again until 4 am anyway.

I got buttermilk pancakes with whipped cream and blueberry sauce and ate 2 of the 3. Restaurant pancakes are always WAY too big for me. Also, I still can't find waffles. I really want a waffle. I've wanted a good Belgian waffle for months now. Months. I had a hot chocolate too, also with whipped cream. I have a thing for whipped cream. It was good whipped cream too and the pancakes were pretty good too and the service made me comfortable, which is sometimes not easy, so all in all that was good too. I'd go back.

I went back to the metro, and rode the green line to the end (Branch Ave) and then people started filling the train up on their way to wait for the gates to open for ticket holders. The gates were scheduled to open at 9 am. It was 5 am.

At 5:30, I got out of the metro station with a bunch of other blue ticket holders (very slowly, since the station was packed).

We filed over to the area in front of the gates and then the waiting started.

At 8:30, the clump of people started to very slowly inch to the gates for bag inspection. We had to open our coats, let a policeman go through our bags and then walk to a spot in front of the capitol and wait. And wait. And wait more. There was a musical interlude and the various dignitaries were announced as they came in.

I had meant to interview people about why they were there, but I didn't, because the reasons seemed to quickly become apparent to me. Some of them were there because they really don't like Bush anymore, if they ever did. They were there to welcome change and usher in the new era.

Some were there because they wanted to be there, to buy a button that said "I was there", to leave their psychic scent mark on the DC air, to move from their normal life in NC, NY, SC, GA, or wherever and be part of something bigger than themselves for a few hours. Some were there because their friends were and they were hanging out and having fun and perhaps going to a ball in the evening.

I didn't interview anybody. I was cold and apparently feeling shy, or just being a wuss, or something.

Anyway, the dignitaries were announced and the crowd displayed their appreciation or lack thereof. Ted Kennedy got applause, as did Colin Powell. Bill Clinton with Hillary got massive applause. Al Gore and Joe Biden were also shown the love. Malia and Sasha Obama got huge applause as did the First Lady-Elect (That's what I'm calling her, since she wasn't yet First Lady at that point.) :}

Bush Sr. and Barbara Bush got applause. Bush Jr. got boos and the singing of a hearty rendition of "na na na na, na na na na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye", which is mean, but then I still have a job and can afford to have some sympathy.

Joe Biden took his oath and there was applause.

I hunched myself up for warmth, cramping most of my muscles in the process, and waited and waited and waited. There was more music: Aretha Franklin!, Yo Yo Ma!; Joe Biden took his oath.

Then, the big show. Barack Hussein Obama (What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name should smell as sweet. So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title...) took his oath of office. Then, he gave the first speech that I had ever heard him give. I had heard that he was a good speaker, but oh my God, I had no idea.

I especially liked the part where he said: "And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more."

I like the sentiment.

It took me 6 hours to get home. My feet are still cold. My shoulders are still cramping. I haven't logged on wow for two days. (Hey, you laugh but ask a wow player, it's traumatic. :p) But, I went. I was there. I didn't have a better reason, except the idea to interview people and that felt wrong and I wasn't strong enough. But, I didn't force myself to do the interviews. I just went and was cold and I think it was worth it.

I might eventually find someone whose babies I want to have who wants me to have their babies. (Hello, are you out there? Sometime in the next five years would be good. :) )

Anyway, should I find that person and have his babies, our babies, maybe someday I'll get to say to them "I was there." I was there. Maybe it's worth something to the greater world and maybe not. But sometimes, just being there is enough.

And I'd like to end with an acknowledgment of President Obama's speechwriter. You do good work.

Springish Cleaning (preemptively)

No complaining about my diet yet, but here's my yesterday afternoon:

I'm cleaning my room.

That would be the room in my parents' house that I moved out of last April. I didn't clean it when I left. I haven't cleaned it all year. I've been storing stuff in here, mostly mail and empty boxes...and cat filth, aka the gunk, detritus, claw sheddings, clumpy fur sheddings and various furry odors my cat leaves behind after occupying a space.

My rugs need to be thrown out. Oh, and in addition to the cat filth, the cat has destroyed what little pile these rugs had in the first place.

So I'm cleaning my room. Finally. The room isn't as bad as it sounds, I can be in here, but the rugs need replacing.

This is what I've done so far:

2pm: Went downstairs for garbage bags.

2:05: Hugged Mom who is knitting in the sunroom and watching House. Stood there watching house for a minute. Asked Mom where the garbage bags were.

2:10: Left sunroom. Forgot to get garbage bags. Went back upstairs.

2:15: Looked up something on the internet. Debated whether to go back downstairs for garbage bags.

2:35: Turned on WERS for All Acapella radio show. Just missed getting to hear Dani California (sound file). Here's the rest of that album. Linking here in no way promises every song is any good, although that group does some good work.

2:40: Surfed the internet. Started blog post.

2:45: Got up and went back downstairs to get garbage bags, missed part of Sea Breeze (sound file). Talked to Mom again, told her I forgot garbage bags. Rubbed the fuzzy head of the appreciative cat lounging in front of the kitchen heater.

2:50: Brought the garbage bag back upstairs. Blogged more. Read a Halushki post.

3:00: Shelved some library books. Leafed through them while shelving. Realized that though I had read one of them, I had no memory of it. Considered that a good thing because I am looking forward to reading the book. Found Po Bronson's website while trying to get Google to give me the Amazon listing for the book. Tore myself away from the temptation to browse, because I really love his books. Reminded myself to add book and author features to this blog. Remind myself to make Sherman Alexie and Po Bronson the first two featured authors. Remembered that Powell's Books does an author feature section that I really like on their website. Tore myself away and went back to cleaning.

3:20: Told Mom why I want to go to Blogher. (To network and find people with whom to start some sort of company so if I ever find somebody whose babies I want to have who actually wants me to have their babies, I can do what I do for 5 or 10 or 15 years while our babies are babies to teenagers and have a good situation. Yeah, I'm not 19 anymore. When I was 19, the idea of having somebodies babies was unfathomable. Anyway, Mom said something negative. I got huffy. Went upstairs, showed Mom Sleep is for the weak: the book based on the Mommyblogs. Mom wasn't impressed. She doesn't understand why I read the online journals of women with children. I don't of course, I read the online journals of anybody interesting who writes and whose journal I have time to read. So far, that's people in medical fields, people with horses, and, mostly, married women with children. (Amalah and Halushki share the last link. :) )

We argued a little more. I said never mind, it's okay if no one understands me. Mom went downstairs. I went downstairs and apologized. We talked for an hour about the irresponsible people in the family who are currently dumping all their problems on my Dad. I got mildly upset that he gives me guff about the things I want to do. Note that I've been responsible since I was 12 or so, possibly before then. Also note that we're religious (Muslims, yeah, pretty sure I mentioned it sometime before) and he KNOWS he never has to worry about whether or not I'm doing the right thing. I and my conscience do all that good stuff for him. And yet, with all these good and grown people who can't deal with the messes they make for themselves, and everyone else, I have to deal with crap. Unfair. I carried some boxes downstairs and got some split-pea soup (my favorite, yum yum yum) and crackers.

4:45: Random eating and doing stuff. Logged my underage druid on and helped some guildies with BWL. Realized I like decursing and removing poisons and that my druid will most likely be resto at max level. I am not a melee player. I will probably always be ranged dps at heart, but I think I could like healing too.

6:00: Watched Grey's Anatomy, episode 512, season 5:
"You're wearing an alarmingly high ponytail." hahhahaha

6:15: Mom brought in the mail. All I got was one little thing: my W2!!!!! Can you say TAX RETURN? I hope I get a refund. I hope. I hope. I hope. I wonder if I can file as head of household since I have my own place now. A refund would turn around my cash flow. I don't even need that much to turn it around, but a refund would do it.

6:45: Realized that I made almost 3 times as much money this year as last year. Woot! Alhamdullilah! Yay!

7:00: Realized I will actually be paying taxes this year, even though I'll still get a nice return. Started looking up how much of my tuition the government will credit to me. Stopped because my brain started to hurt. Someone please slap me if I ever start talking about going to law school. At least it looks like I can improve my return by quite a bit with a Lifetime Learning Credit.

7:15: Yoga time!

9:00: Done Yoga. I didn't start on time. This was day 5 of my 60 days of consecutive yoga. I fell asleep after a little more than half the routine the day before, but I'm counting it, because in 55 days I will not care that I missed half a day 4 days in.

My room is still mostly dirty. Sigh.

3 days of Yoga!

This is my 3rd consecutive day of doing the full Bikram yoga workout. This is significant because I have a hard time being consecutive in my yoga days. The goal here is 60 consecutive days.

The longest I have gone consecutively before is 30 days, and that was 10 years ago when I first found the Bikram book in the back stacks of a library in Birkama, The Gambia, West Africa. Life is funny. It wasn't the book in that link though, but the first edition. I do have the book in the link now though and it is pretty much the same as that first edition.

I have to email the girl I had gone to the library with, since she is the best friend I have in the world, even though I email her not at all frequently enough, and I still don't know her second son's name. Shame on me. In fact, I'm going to email her right now.

Done! I emailed her. :D

Anyway, hopefully I can get 60 consecutive days. Then I can cut my yoga practice time in half and start working earnestly on my splits. 57 days to go!

Tomorrow, or whenever I decide to/have time to/aren't too lazy to post next: I realize how terrible my diet has become and resolve to improve it for the sake of my body's anti-amenorrhea and anti-anemia mechanisms, among others. I pretty much just assume that I'm always anemic though. I remember trying to donate blood once. That's for the next post though.

Good night DC, peace to all.
WBL

A comment! Woooot!

Somebody lovely left me a comment! Wheee, 1st one, evar! People other than my mom read this! Thanks!

Ooh, and I like this writing on the edge, nonstandard screenplay/freeform prose thing she has going on at Blonder Than You. I'm going to have to add her to my blogroll.

That brings up an aside, actually. Notice how I don't have a blogroll. (I'm also using the standard blogger template, but that's a whole 'nother story.) I read blogs from the back forward. I find the oldest post available and I start there and read forward. I have never finished a blog, ie gotten up to what's happening now, this way. Links make it hard.

Take an example: I started reading Amalah a while ago. (I love the way Amalah writes.) Then, I found an Amalah archive that linked to Halushki, and uncharacteristically, I read that day's current post...and I loved it and laughed with it so much that I started reading Halushki back to front. We'll see if I manage to get back to present day. One reason I love blogs though is that they're like stories that unfold and then theoretically one day you get to the part that's happening now. (When will then be now? Soon!) And it's all true!

Oh, and Amalah, I still have you bookmarked! One of these days maybe I'll even catch up to present day. :P

:D

So, now that I'm all excited and energized and whatnot, plans for the coming semester and this still somewhat new year: I've been thinking about focusing more on work in the work/school balance. I have a project to finish this week, which is going along okay so far. I'm telling myself to stay focused, focus like a lens. Thankfully, this time I gave myself a deadline when I set up the project, so it's not as easy to lose focus.

I want to go to Blogher in July. It sounds like great fun and a chance to network and talk to all sorts of cool and interesting people, which I really like to do. Plus, student tickets are extremely cheap. Extremely. I'm just waiting for my cash flow to reverse so I can register. Hopefully, they won't sell out in the couple of weeks that will take.

I want to do at least one large scale skate race this year. The logical choice would be the Chicagoland Inline Marathon because it is the same weekend and general location as Blogher, but my heart is set on Athens to Atlanta. I've wanted to do A2A since I found out about it, about 8 years ago. It's about time.

I'm thinking about taking the next school year off and working. It might give me a different outlook. Then again, it might just be fun. I don't know if I want to do what I do forever, but right now, I.T. is fun for me, especially if I could find something that wasn't all phone support.

I'd live somewhere else too, I think, somewhere with good skating. It would be like a sabbatical of sorts. The more I think about it, the better it sounds.

Last but not least, and completely unrelated to anything else: I'm reading again, mostly nonfiction, introspective stuff to help me get myself going and broaden my perspective as relates to this universe we all live in. I had missed reading books other than my textbooks. Calculus doesn't make for great pleasure reading, even if integration by substitution is undeniably sexy.

Toodles with a side of peace, WBL

Things I've done this (last) year

Since this is supposed to be a blog where I live free despite being wierd and broke and lonely and wierd and did I mention lonely?, here's the recap of things I did and places I went in 2008. Places I went: Love Cafe. I ate cupcakes, had my first latte and did lots and lots of studying. (I ordered it accidentally but was pleasantly surprised.) Get the middle window seat/couch/booth thingie if you can. Sit at one end of the table and 2 studying student types can fit, which is great for pretending you're less lonely than you are.

Mocha Hut. Bigger than Love Cafe but quieter. I think LC has more laptop hookups, although MH comes out ahead in the wireless division.

I like LC better. It's cozy, the conversational volume is just right for feeling less lonely, and I've not yet had a problem staking out an outlet for the omnipresent laptop.

doom gloom thundercloud

Even my stupid craig's list posts don't get answered. If you ever have the chance to be avant garde and ahead of the pack and whatnot, don't. You'll regret it.

Gloom doom gloom doom thundercloud thundercloud thundercloud gloom. And I have to go back to work Monday. Thankfully, I have a job to go back to, but yugh.

Stardate 58: Have not spoken to a single unrelated soul in weeks. People at work don't count. Starting to wish I could take up social drinking and throw my boobs around unabashedly. That is how people make friends right? No? Could've fooled me.

glooom

doom

thundercloud

This is what time off does to me. Of course, the rest of the time I'm so busy I can't see straight. :-/ Oh well, back to work next week and back home to my comfy little apartment. I miss my apartment, despite the fact that I didn't have time to clean the bathroom before I left for my parents' house and will therefore have to do it when I get back. Not so great.