my hair

ate a comb this morning,
waved dark tendrils in the wind from my window and
demanded another

shhh

it doesn't know it's getting locked this summer

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Mom, I love you, but, no, I don't want to marry some random dude from a Muslim dating website. Nor do I want to talk to said random dude. I am not into random dudes. Oh and in my post before, I missed one: incarcerated dude. Yeah. He sent me a letter with pictures and everything and okay, he's cute enough, but no. NO. I am amazed that the girl who told him about me told him about me.

And the thing is, if I took off all my stuff and went to da club, I don't think it'd be any easier. To find somebody random to make out with, sure, okay, but I seriously doubt that'd make it easier to find somebody to be friends with, or maybe to be more than friends (bowchickawowwow, don't ask, it seemed appropriate). And I am so not interested in random making out with people. I'd make out with TDiL though, except I wouldn't, but I'd want to.

People keep telling me: Oh, everybody's lonely. It's not just you. So, if the universe is a huge septic tank of islands floating in the shit, that's supposed to help? Oh, it's fine, we're all in the same stinky situation.

Weird I can handle. If you judge me by my invisible boobs, odds are I don't want to know you anyway. Brok-ish, I can handle. Lonely is a huge pain in the ass. Huge.

Oh, and Coraline was very good. I went by myself and it was enjoyable. Tim Burton delivers. I won't give it away, but if you watch it, notice the sweaters. They are real miniature sweaters really knitted by a real person. If you've ever knitted, you'll be impressed by this, especially the one with the color pattern, oh, and the gloves. Knitting gloves that tiny is pretty amazing.

So lonely, *sigh*

I'm going to bed. I have to work tomorrow, assuming disgruntlement doesn't cost me my job.

Hurley

I was watching Lost and I have come to this conclusion: Hurley has the best hair.

grrrrrrrrrrrr

It's one of those days, you know, the sort of day where you get out of bed and step in a pile of cat vomit and then you take a shower and realize that you have no clean underwear, and since underwear is not like socks and can't be reworn for weeks after removing it once, you have to wash out a pair and because you have no oven, you then have to put the pair on damp. Then you have to wear the damp underwear all day, because damp underwear sandwiched between your jeans and your butt does not dry. It stays damp. Or, you can decide to go underwearless. I don't know about you, but jeans commando is not one of my fav outfits. I'd rather do the damp underwear thing.

And while we're on the subject of underwear, who came up with the concept of thongs? I finally broke out of the usual bikini forever mode and bought a single thong, and wore said thong..once. How in the heck are you supposed to keep the strap unwedgied? Doesn't anyone realize how very cold MD winters are? Maybe I'm the wrong generation, although I'm not that old, yeesh. Or maybe I spent too much time running through the woods growing up. (hey, It could have something to do with an aversion to thongs). Maybe I'm too much of a treehouse person and I want my underwear to be substantial enough to double as rope should I be forced to use it to rappell someday. (It could happen.) Whatever the underlying reason, the thong will not be getting a repeat wearing.

So, it's one of those days. I have homework, which is mostly not done. I was supposed to be at the Duke women's basketball game today, which I am missing, even as I write. Before that, I was supposed to go meet somebody, which I didn't. I was at work late Friday and am fielding angry emails even as I write. I will have to deal with incredible amounts of disgruntledness on Monday. Incredible amounts, which I am not looking forward to. The only seminormal person I've run into in a while is, well, not. I have a work project that I can't test because I didn't leave the machine on. Oh, and that will contribute to the disgruntledness to come on Monday. Somebody hold me. I need a cat to hug, but they're all at home. *Grumble.* *ssiiigghh.*

Oh, and it was one of those days that look warm and then you go out and it's all like "wind, cold, blowing in your face no matter which way you're walking."

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Except the disgruntled are just waiting to complain at me, and about me, and threaten the job without which I can't pay my rent and my tuition and all that good stuff. And I'll have to drop out of school and get another job (in this economy, no less) or move home and go back to being about 13. Yay. Soo grumpy.

breakthrough!

I was me tonight! I have to go to bed, there's a show tomorrow and call time is 5:15 and I have to walk 3 miles to get there, but I actually had fun loading the truck tonight. Part of it was people including me in the silliness that goes on, which was cool, but part of it was just relaxing. That's so incredibly hard to do sometimes.

I don't know, I was in a good mood anyway, because the guild I'm applying to seems to be cool, not as cool as the coolest guild evar, but cool. :D It was probably that. But, I decided at some point that I was NOT going to stand around and feel weird and I didn't. When they ran out of stuff to carry and lift and whatnot, I practiced my old Taekwondo forms. Let's see if I can do a repeat next week. Show tomorrow! Pyramids say ooooooooooooooooooooow! What?! Oooooooooooooooooow!

gnight folks ^^
peace and love

team sports for the solo flyer, part 1

I have to break this up because I NEED some sleep tonight. I've slept ONE out of the past FOUR nights. One. That is not natural. Not to mention, it's dangerous for me. I tend to fall asleep while walking if I get tired enough. Obviously, this is a problem when you consider traffic.

Anyway, the point is that I'm breaking this post up into a couple of posts. This is the one where I introduce the series, obviously.

I'm in the gymnastics troupe at school and so far, I love the gymnastics. It's hard. The mats are hard. Landing in the mats sometimes hurts. Everything is much, much harder than it looks. My muscles are soft (which means not soft at all, but they might as well be nothing for this sport), which makes every skill even harder. My arms resemble Bert's, but with little shoulders. They were good enough for Taekwondo, but for gymnastics, I might as well have the strength of Bert.

But, all that aside, I have no intention of quitting. Shoot, the fact that it's hard probably makes me even less likely to quit, besides, I WANT my back handspring. I'm not even close to getting it. haha. Oh, and let me mention that besides being 27, not the ideal age for starting gymnastics, I'm also entirely lacking in natural talent. Martial arts? I was not bad at martial arts. I had good legs, ok hands, I was alright. But this? Everything is bad. I did front handsprings for an entire semester and got them exactly twice. Twice. I have done 2 good non-supported, landed front handsprings in my lifetime. 2. But it's fun and my ornery side is starting to kick in as well.

So I like the gymnastics. I don't know about the whole team thing though. For various reasons, I was always the person who went and did whatever by myself. So now for me to have to do the huddle is a little strange.

The first roadshow I went to, I didn't feel like part of anything at all. It was all strange and new and a little silly, maybe. It doesn't help that I'm older than most of the rest of the team, but I don't think I'm the oldest. People speak to me too, so it's not that. I'm just chalking it up to not thinking as a team being for the moment. We'll see if it changes as I go to practice and shows and more people get comfortable with me, if that happens. It'll be interesting.

More later.

sigh

I got about an hour of sleep last night and yet I am wide awake. >.<